INTP finally looks up the Macbeth quote at 1:43 a.m.: "All full of scorpions is my mind!!" they shout.

INTJ: "Why scorpions!?" 

INTP: "He's insane."

INTJ: "He must be with all those scorpions in his head."

INTP and INTJ are wandering around making tea and scooping ice cream in their intermission between the two discs of the Two Towers. INTP has been repeating a line of dubious accuracy from Macbeth all day, ranging from "all full of snakes is my mind," to "all full of spiders is my mind," in a dramatic tone. Finally they scream, "IT'S "ALL FULL OF SHADOWS IS MY MIND!" THAT'S WHAT IT IS!"  

INTJ comments, "yeah, I figured it wasn't snakes or spiders."

INTP repeats "all full of shadows is my mind," about ten more times.

 INTJ finally interjects: "all full of sticks is my arse!"

INTP and INTJ are alone with the dogs and once again watching LOTR Extended Edition.
INTP is sprawled on the couch having downed a glass of wine, INTJ is in the wingback Enterprise captain's chair.

Frodo and Sam have set out on their journey but are still in the shire, not yet having met Merry and Pippin in the cornfield. Sam and Frodo watch as a company of elves pass them, solemn on their journey to the Grey Havens, never to return. A dramatic and ethereal flute music can be heard.

INTJ shouts: "LOOK! IT'S THE TRAVELLING ASIAN GROCERY STORE!"

INTP: *Hysterical laughter*

INTP+Pokemon Go=a lot of walking into things.

This is why the INTP should drive and the INTJ should hold both phones.