INTP: *gets up in the middle of the night, walks into the closet door*

INTP: Hi.

INTP: I know what a ping-pong ball feels like.

INTJ: *laughs hysterically, gets on the internet*

. . .

INTP: Are you putting this on the blog.

INTP and INTJ are trying to watch a movie. INTP has found a clothespin. The INFJ has tricked them into putting it on their ear.

INTJ: You're sitting on the chocolates again like last night. They're going to melt.

INTP: Yep.

INTJ: And there's a clothespin on your ear.

(movie): ''I feel like I'm back at the Green Dragon, putting my feet up on a settle after a hard day's work.'' ''You've never done a hard day's work.''

INTJ: Oh look, that's us.

INTP: *cackles* *does not remove clothespin*

INTJ: If I'd realized you were so easily entertained I'd have just handed you a clothespin and not bothered with the movie.

INTJ is on pain medication, staring at a spoonful of neon blue jello hovering in front of their eyes with a spacey smiley expression: "Look at it! Look at it move! It just jiggles!"

The INTP, having as little experience eating jello as the INTJ, glances over with a smirk and a laugh, watching the phenomenon. Though mildly amused by the dessert's interesting consistency, due to an unfortunate childhood incident involving blood red jello and the feeling of it coming back up your throat and projectile vomiting it all over the rug they have no desire to try eating more.

The INTJ continues to stare happily at the jello. "I mean, look at it! It's still jiggling! Is it picking up on my blood pressure or something?!" The INTJ chuckles happily while the INTP and the INFJ glance at each other; one of them planning to stop the supply of pain medication, the other deciding to try to distribute more. 

INTJ: "All those years without jello...Missing out!...You can just...slurp it down!" 

The INTP smirks and resolves to find the bottle of pain medication.

Young INXX Relative Texting INTP After Finding Blog: 

"Now I'm thinking about microwaving animals. ...Wait, No! I'm not thinking about actually microwaving them, just what would happen were I to do that."

INTP is sitting on the couch reading old blog posts and checking stats. Sees post about microwaving animals. Their eyes widen and abruptly throws self across the couch and shouts triumphantly in the general direction of the bathroom. "THEIR BLOOD BOILS!" Waits for response. 

INFJ, calmly from their wingback chair without looking up says: "INTJ is probably out taking care of the chickens."

INTP goes to the door and opens it, and screams: "THEY PROBABLY DO EXPLODE! THEIR BLOOD BOILS!"  Waits for response. Stomps out into the snow, shouting again while looking for INTJ. No response. Looks about. Rounds the shed and notices INTJ was within hearing distance but evidently ignoring INTP. INTP approaches and the INTJ is finally aware of words aimed in their general direction. INTP tries again. "Hey! Didn't you hear me? They DO explode! Their blood boils." INTP smirks triumphantly. 

**********

Meanwhile, the INTJ has grumpily gone outside and is wrestling with their task. They register a strange noise, but attribute it to some idiot yelling in the Christmas tree farm across the road and ignore it. When the shouting comes again, they begin mentally swearing about idiots who can't just pick a tree quietly.

The shouting becomes more distinct and is now recognizable as the INTP, but the INTJ is busy and lets the INTP approach to a more reasonable distance before beginning a conversation.

**********

INTP: GNKXKSORNFNKSKPAKDN!!!!

INTJ: WHAT?

INTP: (with a demented grin) Their blood boils!

INTJ: What?

INTP: Live animals. When you microwave them their blood boils and that's why they explode. Why were you ignoring me?

INTJ: I thought you were some idiot yelling in the tree farm.

INTP: *laughs*

INTJ: But why would the fact of the blood boiling make them explode?

INTP: *sags* Dunno.

**********

In the house, the INFJ sits in their chair, ignoring the texts from the Faerie Queen. It's been a busy day and more socialization is not appealing right now.

Never Ever

TEXTING: 

INTP: I just saw a video of a cow giving birth on instagram. It was gross. I am NEVER having kids. 

INTJ: You do realize you are not a cow, right? 

INTP: The concept is still the same!! Bloody NEVER.