INFJ, in a slightly bewildered voice: Everyone is making these picture collages of 2017.

INTP, faintly, from another room, like the voice of a determined seal rising from the depths of the ocean to greet the crew of an experimental submarine: I want to make a nine-panel collage where every panel just says ‘shit’.

INFJ: repeats ‘shit’ like fourteen times, experimentally.

INTJ: cackles, signs into the blog really fast before they get distracted and forget this happened.

INTP finally looks up the Macbeth quote at 1:43 a.m.: "All full of scorpions is my mind!!" they shout.

INTJ: "Why scorpions!?" 

INTP: "He's insane."

INTJ: "He must be with all those scorpions in his head."

INTP and INTJ are wandering around making tea and scooping ice cream in their intermission between the two discs of the Two Towers. INTP has been repeating a line of dubious accuracy from Macbeth all day, ranging from "all full of snakes is my mind," to "all full of spiders is my mind," in a dramatic tone. Finally they scream, "IT'S "ALL FULL OF SHADOWS IS MY MIND!" THAT'S WHAT IT IS!"  

INTJ comments, "yeah, I figured it wasn't snakes or spiders."

INTP repeats "all full of shadows is my mind," about ten more times.

 INTJ finally interjects: "all full of sticks is my arse!"

INTP and INTJ are alone with the dogs and once again watching LOTR Extended Edition.
INTP is sprawled on the couch having downed a glass of wine, INTJ is in the wingback Enterprise captain's chair.

Frodo and Sam have set out on their journey but are still in the shire, not yet having met Merry and Pippin in the cornfield. Sam and Frodo watch as a company of elves pass them, solemn on their journey to the Grey Havens, never to return. A dramatic and ethereal flute music can be heard.

INTJ shouts: "LOOK! IT'S THE TRAVELLING ASIAN GROCERY STORE!"

INTP: *Hysterical laughter*

INTP+Pokemon Go=a lot of walking into things.

This is why the INTP should drive and the INTJ should hold both phones.

It's 3:00 a.m. There is a swallowing noise heard in the distance in a dark room.

INTJ (suspiciously): "Is that wine?"

INTP: "...Possibly. But it's not more wine." 

INTJ: "How can it not be more wine?!"

INTP: "It's the same wine."

INTJ and the dog sigh.

If You Value Your Lives

INTP kisses couch; "I don't want to leave this couch."

INTJ rolls eyes.

INTP: "I just had this mental image of me running down the road with the couch on my back, stealing it."

INTJ: "Mom would be running after you."

INTP laughs; "I suppose you would be too."

INTJ: "No, I'd be in the minicooper with my head stuck through the sunroof and a machine gun in my hands, right behind you."

Slither

INTJ shows INTP a picture of a snake they found on the internet. "See? Snakes are cute. I want to get one."

INTP hisses incoherently at the picture.

INTJ: "It's cute!"

INTP: "Nooo."

INTJ: "They're cool!"

INTP: "Nooooo."

INTJ: "I didn't say you had to get one, I said I wanted one."

INTP: "Noooooooooooooooooo."

Midnight Snack

INTP and INTJ are sitting on the couch at around midnight, messing about on their tablets.

INTJ: "I'm hungry."

INTP makes random noise in agreement that vaguely approximates speech.

INTJ: "I suppose I could do something about it."

INTP: "Probably."

INTJ puts down tablet and starts to get up, then freezes at the edge of the sofa. "...Nope." INTJ says, and settles back into their former spot.

Desert

INTP is writing a story and is trying to decide which African* desert to strand their characters in.

INTJ: "You should choose the Gobi desert."

INTP: "Why?"

INTJ: "I just like the Gobi desert."

INTP: "Well, that's not in Afri-."

INTJ interrupts the oncoming babble with an emphatic chopping motion using both hands. "They have YAKS."

INTP: "But..."

INTJ: "YAKS."








*Condescending public service announcement from the INTP: Africa is a continent, not a country. Unless you are referring to SOUTH Africa. Which is the name of a country.*